Ah the drama of single life.
After the break up of a relationship, whether its your first or fiftieth, (hey, no judgment here!) some of us go through the phase of feeling utterly rejected by the universe.
You listen to sad love ballads (Why does it always rain on me, even when the sun is shining?! What a weird little weather phenomenon! :p) and mope around. You analyse and over analyse, playing through all the scenarios in various permutations and combinations, trying to figure out exactly what went wrong. Maybe you surrender to the cliche of eating way too much icecream and chocolate.
Then, the possibility crosses your mind.
Maybe there is something inherently wrong with you. Maybe, you’re just unlovable.
Maybe you’ll never find someone to love you!
Let me break down the statistics for you. The current population of the world (well, as of August 2016, according to Google baba) is 7.4 billion. Out of that, roughly 3.7 billion are of the gender you want to love. Even after eliminating all the wrong age groups and serial killers, there is still a pacific ocean full of fish in your proverbial love cauldron.
Why are you worried? Of course there is someone out there for you! Its going to be okay. Enjoy this phase, a life free of responsibilities and the ability to sleep when you want without always having an ear open for a crying baby (I should know!)
Now, you ask me another perplexing question. What if my soul mate is in Timbuktoo and I’m in Machu Pichu?? Well, you’re right, that is quite perplexing. It is possible that you may never meet and you may have to play endless sad love ballads.
However, there also may be no such thing as soul mates. Most relationships and marriages comprise of two (very patient) people who have been together so long that they are finely tuned to each other. You could say they become soul mates during the course of their companionship. There’s no one who is perfect for you, nor are you going to be perfect for anyone. You just learn over time, what pisses each other off, and try not to get on each other’s nerves :p
Love is easy, you fall in and out of it so fast. Relationships are hard work and commitment. Try that with someone who will love you despite your flaws. There are so many reasons why a relationship may not work out. Perhaps its the wrong time, the wrong place, the wrong religion, the wrong circumstances, the wrong ideas for the future… which ultimately does culminate in.. the wrong person. If you’ve both done everything you can to salvage your relationship, then the answer is the one that is difficult to face and hard to accept. It is what it is.
The good news is, there’s no hurry. You’re running a marathon, not a 100 metre sprint.
Take it from someone who has been there, done that and wrote the blog post. There’s no shame in sad love ballads, crying through romantic movies and eating a litre of icecream (except maybe loose bowel movements ;p). Give yourself time. Be positive, and get through it, day by day. It will get easier. Love and be kind to yourself. The rest will follow suit.
And you never have to find someone to love you. The universe will do it for you. 🙂