Who was I? Who am I? What will I become?

I had a dream last night about my past. It wasn’t anything very intense, but I remember the emotions that came with it.

I woke up and opened my eyes to my present life, my son sleeping soundly next to me. I was confused. Was I really that person once upon a time? I thought over what my day used to look like ten years ago when I was in college. How carefree it was, what my problems were and what I used to do in my free time.

Was that even me?

Or is the impostor the person I am today and was that the real me?

Being the vibrant centre of attention has been replaced by the quiet, somewhat lonely life of a mother. I remember my husband saying that one of the reasons he married me was because I was always so positive. I don’t remember what I was like when I married him. But I don’t think I am that way now.

It’s amazing how one person can evolve and change so much over the years. I don’t even look the same as I did 10 years ago. My life is nothing like I imagined it would be.

Am I happy? Yes and no. If we were completely happy we would never strive for something better, isn’t it?

Have any of you felt an identity or existential crisis? Have you ever struggled to find yourself after having a baby?

Image courtesy: http://awordywoman.com/finding-yourself

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